Eat Your Dreams

A DISCOVERY

I am on a new regimen — attempting to eat less in the evening so that I will lose weight. Thus I go to sleep hungry. The other night I had a dream: I was in my old apartment in the East Village of Manhattan, which I left seven years ago. There was a bowl of sesame noodles on the table, and I began to eat them standing up. (My meditation group discourages eating while standing, so I never do so in real life.) The noodles were excellent. I woke up no longer hungry.

The next day, while recounting the dream to my wife, I realized I had discovered the perfect diet, one that allows the dieter to feast on any food and never gain weight. The secret is to eat in your dreams.

THE VALUE OF DREAMS

The first step, of course, is to remember your dreams. And how do you do that? By considering them worthy!

In this culture dreams are not valued. Why? Because they are supposedly not “real.” But consider movies: You might spend $12.50 (in New York City) to sit in a dark room for two hours. When you emerge, what do you have to show for it? Nothing (unless, for some reason, you carry out your popcorn box). You don’t even receive a program. Yet you consider this experience to be worth the price of admission.

Meanwhile, when you lie in a dark room and watch movies for five to eight hours — movies starring yourself — you consider these experiences worthless.

In 1971 the soft-rock band Bread sang, in the song “(I Want to) Make It with You,” “Dreams are for those who sleep / Life is for us to keep.” This is a typical American antidreaming statement.

I say: Defy Bread! Admit that you’re one of “those who sleep”! There is no shame in sleeping, or in the nectarean romance of dreams!

HOW TO REMEMBER YOUR DREAMS

Let us consider the nature of our nightly narratives. For one thing dreams are shy. Like visitors who too easily feel unwelcome, they will quickly find an excuse to leave. You must show your dreams that they are appreciated.

One way is to have a dream friend: someone you tell your dreams to every day — or as often as you recall them. You may also write to your dream friend by e-mail, postcard, or on velvet-edged stationery.

A dream friend is not always easy to find. You must test all your acquaintances to learn who is dream sympathetic. You may be surprised. Your friend Edna, the potter, may despise dreams, while Frank, the investment banker, may have a juicy, multilayered dream life.

QUIT YOUR JOB

Work is the enemy of dreams. When you wake up and must rush to work, your dreams quickly vanish. One solution is to abandon your job. Simply walk into your boss’s office (you need not knock) and shout, “Ms. Fenlap, [or “Mr. Fenlap”] I must announce my resignation! I need more time in the morning to recall my dreams.”

If your boss seems sympathetic, you may go on to explain that you are following a groundbreaking new diet.

WAKE UP EARLIER

Another option is simply to wake up earlier. Give yourself an hour in the morning to cultivate dream recollections.

One advantage of this plan is that you will keep your job.

A DREAM WALL

For some people the best way to remember dreams is on a Dream Wall. Choose one wall of your house on which to transcribe your dreams. (Use colored pens!) You may also wish to draw salient images. The visually oriented will enjoy watching a mural of their night tales emerge.

TAMARI

Last night I dreamed I was in a natural-foods store buying tamari (soy sauce) in bulk. For some reason I placed an old beer bottle under the spout. As I filled the bottle, I smelled the combination of stale beer and soy sauce.

This slightly nauseating smell was still vivid in my mind as I awoke. I lost my appetite for half an hour.

Thus we need not eat in dreams to receive help dieting.

A DREAM CLUB

Another way to remember dreams is to begin a dream club. Invite a number of friends to gather every two weeks and narrate their dreams. Everyone will keep a dream journal — or perhaps a dream sketchbook — and take turns reading from it.

Here is an interesting assignment for your dream club: write a fake dream. At the next meeting read both real and counterfeit dreams to see if people can guess which is which. For example, below are one true and one false dream. Can you distinguish them? 

I must catch a plane to Paris. I am already late, and now I await a subway to take me to the airport, perhaps in New York City. A large number of people lounge on the platform. A train pulls into the station. I run toward the open doors and realize — I have no shoes! I took my shoes off while sitting and forgot them. Looking down at a shelf below the platform, I see numerous shoes and boots in rows. Should I reach down and grab a pair of boots? What if they don’t fit? And isn’t that stealing? What about my shoes? Should I abandon them forever? 

I am in the Crusades, fighting in an army of Christians just north of Jerusalem. I peer through an iron visor, wear chain mail, and carry a halberd (a weapon with an axlike blade and a steel spike). A large, angry Turkish man lunges at me. I duck, then strike back. Suddenly someone calls out: “Break!” It is 3 p.m., time for tea. My enemy and I stop fighting and sit down to cups of Earl Grey.

 

PIZZA

Last night I dreamed I was in a convenience store where a woman had just baked numerous small pizza pies. They were laid out on the counter, which was reddish orange.

She told me that her boss had just called to cancel all pizza baking. These were the last pizzas she would ever prepare. She was distraught.

As we spoke, I began to eat one of the pizzas. It was not particularly tasty — doughy and generic. But she didn’t charge me. (All dream food is free, but this food was free even within the dream.)

BED CARE

A bed is a shrine to the unconscious. Like a sailboat, it can propel you to Madagascar. If you take special care of your bed, it will reward you with memorable dreams.

When you make your bed, bow or kneel reverently. Offer your bed kind words or prayers. Once or twice a day walk into your bedroom and thank your bed.

Notice if this improves your dreams.

GET PAID FOR DREAMING

In our culture value is expressed through money. Tom Cruise receives $20 million for a movie: therefore he is important. A fiddler receives $14 for a performance: thus he is unimportant.

Dreams are unpaid. For this reason we assume they are worthless.

There is a simple solution to this: Send a hundred dollars to a close friend (or perhaps your mother). Arrange that each time you successfully remember a dream, your friend (or mother) will mail you a five-dollar bill. Though this is a small sum — and your own money — you will be subconsciously convinced that dreams are valuable.

SLEEPING ON COOKBOOKS

Now that we have grown more skilled at remembering our dreams, another question arises: “How am I going to arrange for food to appear in my sleeping consciousness?”

One answer is to place a cookbook under your pillow before you bed down for the night, allowing the recipes to seep into your dreams.

Begin with basic cookbooks; then move on to more exotic fare, such as Victorian Picnic Salads. If, one Thursday, you are in the mood for Mexican, place Viva Mexico!, by Juan Saloso, under your pillow. If there is a particular food you’d like — for example, tacos — place a bookmark at that page.

Be adventurous. Try new foods in your dreams. Dishes you may not enjoy in real life can taste wonderful while you’re asleep.

If cookbooks don’t work, use takeout menus or even business cards from restaurants. Or simply cut out photographs of recipes from Family Circle or Gourmet.

Warning: You may not always receive the food you want in your dream life. Despite sleeping on top of Szechuan Holiday, you may find yourself eating spaghetti with olives. Dream eating is not an exact science — at least, not yet!

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