Birds decide to give up their wings 
          because flying indulges in an ego trip. 
Hermit crabs decide they have to pay rent 
          on their shells. 
Snakes invent banks where they can invest
          their sloughed-off skins. 
Beavers vote to build high-rise lodges
          above their ponds. 
Squirrels expect a minimum wage 
          for storing nuts in secret. 
Earthworm expressways install periodic tollbooths 
          to help defray construction costs. 
Lions build cages, lock themselves in, 
          and charge admission to see them. 
Butterflies get rich from fee to see 
          emergence from chrysalis. 
Termite Thoreau goes to live by a dewdrop for a while 
          before returning to the termite mound. 
The turnip and parsnip form a partnership. 
Celery wants a salary. 
Cows demand humans make their own milk 
          from their own tits 
          and eat their own sawn muscles. 
Trees agree to sprout money instead of leaves 
          as long as they can make newspapers out of human corpses 
          to print tree news. 
Dust motes go on strike 
          for safer floating conditions. 
One raindrop says to another raindrop —
          “I don’t believe in clouds 
          or that we’re falling.” 
Plankton plot how to conquer the ocean. 
Sea horses form cavalries and charge 
          to periwinkle bugle calls. 
Mayflies scheme to be more famous as poets 
          than other mayflies. 
Mountains want to get away from it all too, 
          tired of carrying the world on their shoulders. 
Roses make X-rated videos of rosebuds opening. 
Sloths realize they better change their lazy ways 
          or else. 
Spiders decide not to spin webs 
          unless they’re displayed in art museums. 
Crickets refuse to cricket 
          unless haiku take notice. 
Whales grow back their arms and legs 
          so they can return to land and work 
          in factories. 
Flowers want to work in factories too. 
They feel funny just sitting around 
          doing nothing but being beautiful 
          and smelling good. 
Penguins decide to take off their tuxedos 
          and wear their bum clothes for a change.