THIS is part of a letter a friend received recently. We think its wisdom touches us all.
Can’t you understand? Can’t you see people cannot live together, freely and with love, till they have learned to live alone, to be alone . . . Neither he nor you are at that point. Your relationship is too full of needs you are too weak to fill yourselves. You are unable to view him for himself, to see his reality. Your vision is blurred by your needs and expectations. When they are not met it turns to anger. A relationship can always aid in growth but can only be as healthy and stable as the two people involved . . . None of us can really love, only desire. You know where anger is at and you know where jealousy is at. They are never easy to deal with, throwbacks from an age hopefully dying, something each of us must integrate in ourselves and this can be done only one way: to evolve your own being, to detach yourself to the point you can take care of your own self — physically, economically and most important, emotionally. This is freedom. It can never be taken away. It depends on no thing. No idea. No person but yourself and it allows you to love . . . He and his world, his being will always be there. You can’t lose him because you never had him.