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The Sun Magazine

Editor's Note

Editor’s Note

I’m back at work, after four days with my children, making meals and making beds and making up stories, and imagining I could make up for our time apart — the missed good mornings and good nights, the scares and discoveries and secrets, the moments remembered for years that last only a moment and can’t be shared by letter or phone. Being a father is hard; cramming too much fathering into too few days is exhausting. I play too hard.or not hard enough, I ignore them and feel guilty, I pursue them and they pursue me. Then I remember my greatest gift to them is who I am. Do I believe in love, in mine for them and theirs for me, or do I make what separates us more important? After three years of shared custody, I’m still figuring out how to share myself.