I cannot write how it was. The world shifted me too fast with each event passing before me, inflicting my nerves with flash-bulb rapidity. I was quietly startled at the fresh novelty. Numb still to the fact I was leaving, disbelieving, an embryo in limbo, sins forgiven, the timelessness suddenly and violently meaning something concrete. A thickness at the gates, divided by the gates, a heavy pushing through the thickness as though it were fate, staring at me with its warrior’s eyes, a victorious man it had to release. And once through the thickness of its invisible armor, leaving my print on its shield like a savage blow of an ax, I came upon a new beginning, a reliving of an old dead thing, with my name, me.