These comments were excerpted from tapes of Patricia’s talks at Greensboro and Melloweden. They cannot be reproduced or used without her permission.
Two notes: Patricia, whenever possible, uses “they” instead of “he” or “she,” so as to be “inclusive of both sexes.” Also, her use of the word “tapes” refers to “your programming and survival conditioning from family and culture, both conscious and unconscious.”
Our thanks to Patricia for going over this material to make sure nothing was garbled in the transmission.
For information on buying tapes or on upcoming workshops, write Patricia Sun, PO Box 7065, Berkeley, Ca. 94707, or call 415-524-5795.
The thing that I’ve noticed, everywhere I go, is that in every person, no matter how evolved, there is a little dark, sad, anxious place inside. No matter how cheery they are, I look in and I see that place.
Jung called this “the shadow.” Perfect name. That little shadow, that part of you that is unconscious, is the part of you that doesn’t love you, but judges you; it’s the part of you that suspects you aren’t good, the part of you that remembers when you wanted to do this bad thing or that bad thing or did it. It is actually much more than that. It is an ancient taproot through humanity, it is all your ancestors, all the collective unconscious, all the ancient human experience, and we are, as a part of this evolutionary leap, about to make that taproot conscious. When it comes into the light, which is what consciousness is, it vanishes. It’s not real, yet it’s real. So, it’s true, you’ve got all that dark stuff, but it’s not real.
I like to sometimes talk about that in terms of the boogeyman. I like that expression, because when we’re in a dark room, and think we see a shadow move, we’re filled with fear. The terror is real, the fear is real. The source of it is not. There’s no boogeyman in the room. The self-doubts you have are real, the source of them is not. And the only way you will know that is to face life, dark corners and all, to look at it, and know that the whole point of life is to be here, and make life that light, make life conscious.
You know the bad stuff about yourself from when you were two years old and you stole a cookie, let alone anything else you did. You know it all, and it’s accruing in there, painting an image of who you “really” are. What’s also in there is all the judgement: “if ever you have suffered, you are being punished, and you deserve it,” which is a cause-effect consciousness about discovering reality.
Suffering is there to tell you: if you keep trying to walk through this concrete wall here, because somebody told you there was a door here, and you try again and again, and you can’t get through where everybody else says you can and it hurts, well, the pain and the suffering are telling you something. Eventually, you’ll stop and say, “I don’t think there’s a door there.” And at that moment, there is a moment of incredible power, because you have let go of the tape.
Now it’s scarey, because then you go, “But how do I get through?” But once you know there’s no door here, you stop trying, and you look around. And there’s lots of avenues of maneuvering. They are unthinkable, as long as you’re buying the tape of “this is the way to do it.”
Life is like going through point A and point B and there’s a big corridor and in this corridor, there are lots of doors. There are one or two doors that say “Boogeyman.” And everybody told you there was something terrible in there. And we spend our lives trotting from A to B and then you go, “Oh, I’m getting near that door,” and, “Oh God, I’m getting close to it,” and you worry as you get close, and then we go past it in a panic, and we worry about something sneaking up and getting us from behind. And when you get far enough away, you breathe a sigh of relief, and you get worried about something else, you look at another door.
At some point, the job of growing up becomes clear. You get fed up being run by the fear, everytime you have to go by that door. You get sick and tired, that everytime you get to that kind of situation, or relationship, or portal — ugh. Terror. The only choice you really have is to go in and open the door and look. Booga, Booga, Booga! What I can guarantee you is you’ll find each time more room to be, more power, more awareness; it’s another beautiful place. It’s just that someone didn’t understand it. Someone was afraid of it.
Fear is the obstacle to knowing God, to feeling love, to being who you are, to having all your intellect, to having all your talent, all your power, all your ability, all your radiance, all your juice, all your uniqueness. All your connections. Your brain working whole. Your body working whole. Moving to holiness.
You have two hemispheres in your brain, right brain and left brain functioning. The right brain rules the left side of the body, and the left brain rules the right side of the body. Throughout history, especially in the Orient and in Egypt, religion, philosophy, and medicine were extremely and complicatedly involved with being aware that there were different energies that affected the two sides of the body.
In Chinese language, the yang side is the right side: the linear, the rational. Modern technology now talks about that hemisphere as the major hemisphere, though it has the same mass and size. It’s called major because it’s what our culture values. The yang is the thrust-out, the categorizing, the rational, the linear, the verbal, the linguistic, that ability, that function asking, “How do you do it?”
This rational linear side is very essential. I ask you not to do what I call a “duality flip,” where if I make one thing good, don’t make its opposite bad, which is a very logical thing to do.
I’m trying to get to a place where our minds will function differently, where they will be amplified. A gestalt is more than the sum of its parts. All the different separate parts are one thing, separate, but then when they come together there is more, something else that’s entirely different. That’s what we’re going to be able to do with our thinking. Right now we’re jumping from one hemisphere to the other. And very uneasy about what we get out of the intuitive mind. And going back to the logical, rational side.
We have equated reality with logic. That is not so. Reality is discovered through the tool of logic. Logic does not equate to reality. Because also included in reality is the mystical state, the divine knowing, the other whole hemisphere of your brain, which is called the “minor hemisphere” in our medical profession because we don’t know what it does, so we don’t value it. But it’s where Einstein got E=Mc2. Energy equals everything. It’s where Chopin got the music. It’s where you get divine revelation. It is the acausal thinking brain.
Now for Western minds to consider the word “acausal” is mind boggling if you really look at it. That means “without cause.” That’s worse than infinity. It just does not compute.
There is, in the act of creation, in the experience of God, a whole component that is: it just happens. And we’re getting ready to own that part, simultaneously with the rational, letting them both work together. And that is, in fact, centeredness, when you get both hemispheres working together.
Absolute power does indeed corrupt absolutely, if you do what I call a duality flip. And that means you assume that the person is saying, “One person has absolute power and everybody else has none.” That is, of course, evil. But if you didn’t do a duality flip, and make it contrasting that way, and you just said, “Everyone has absolute power,” then we would be in heaven. And as much as we fight and argue, and fear, and feel powerless, we create evil. Non-living. Non-life. Off. Off the mark.
I call it crooked energy, because you know how a hose gets twisted, and the water can’t get through? That’s how we are, we have a lot of little crooked bends, that we’ve been programmed with, that we’ve taken on. Fears we haven’t figured out. Our energy can’t get past it, and so we feel bad, we feel depressed, we feel powerless, we feel angry, we feel hurt, we feel jealous, we feel grief, we feel remorse.
“It’s happened. Nothing can change it!” It’s one of the great big dualities that locks us into a lot of suffering. “Well, as everybody knows, the past is over and done with, and there’s nothing you can do to change it.” Isn’t it fascinating, that in a certain sense, though obviously we are the total sum of all past, we are also the total sum of all future? Because there is no such thing. There is always only “now.” And you can transform the past, by your awareness of now. If it’s a little hard for the rational mind, I can give an example. For instance, you have a memory, as a child. Your memory is true. It was your experience. Everything you remember is true, yet there is something missing. The other truths are missing. When the other truths are missing, what you experienced as true isn’t true. When you know what is missing, you will be, as the Buddha said, awake. Now this is the paradox. And this is what we need to be able to hold and see.
You are correct and all your experiences count. There is no need to invalidate any of them. Merely stay open to the rest. And when rest of it comes in, there is an alchemy, there is a leap in consciousness, and everything is different. I’d love for you to feel that, over and over, because that’s the release place. That’s the leap place. That’s where it is, that’s the next level of consciousness.
When we all have absolute power, then it is, “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” That’s when, as it says in Jeremiah, we will not have to preach to each other any longer in the days to come, we will not have to remind each other about the laws of God, we will not have to keep telling our brethren how to follow the laws of God, because it shall be written on the inward parts of us all, and all will know God. So, we’re coming home, and when you genuinely support someone in their power, you bring it all home, and you have acknowledged your own, because if you stop to think of it, what is the most powerful position you could take in the world? One of totally supporting everyone in all their power. Because you have no fear of loss.
Do We Create Our Own Reality?
The thing in the New Age now is to talk about how “you created it.” It gets a little annoying, on occasion, when someone says, “Well, you created it,” and one of the reasons why that is annoying is because there’s something missing there. While it is completely true that you do create the reality around you, it is also completely true that you are an effect of this universe and that you are completely in response to it, receptive to it. Yes, you created it, and simultaneously we are completely an effect of the universe. Now, if you can hold those two things together, simultaneously, you can find a growing edge of power that you have in how you have chosen to be here and joined in on your destiny and the unfolding of things. Yet, part of how you’ve chosen it and joined in is through not knowing.
Everytime you are in that ambiguous state which we often hate because it’s equated with going crazy and danger, and not being to figure things out, and nonsecurity, everytime you are in an ambiguous state, you’re up against the paradox. You are at a place where you can make a great shift in consciousness. And to the degree that you refuse to make the leap, trying to figure out, “Is it this way?” or “Is it that way?” you will run back and forth and feel a lot of anguish. Sometimes what you’ll do, instead of picking the leap, is pick one. Just because you can’t stand to keep going. And then you’ll pick one, and you’ll do a whole dance of being stuck over there, and eventually you’ll have to get stuck on the other side, and that’s what life has been since Adam and Eve.
As a matter of fact, Adam and Eve began the duality dance. That was the original sin. The fall was them eating from the tree not just of knowledge, but the knowledge of “is it good?” or “is it bad?” and then we knew suffering, and then we knew shame.
Men and Women
In the duality plane, we make things wonderful, or terrible. So some doors are labelled awful. And the awfulness is fed. Nobody knows why anybody’s terrified there, it’s just “Ahhhhh.”
And one of the biggies on that particular issue is men and women. And men fearing women and women fearing men.
There’s a tremendous amount of programming and conditioning that is almost biologically oriented in the way that we happen to be born. In this duality plane of either/or thinking, there’s one extremely lopsided thing that happens. And that is that every single human being who exists has been born only of a female body, has lived parasitically off the flesh of that body, inside of that body, for about nine months, and then for most of humanity’s history, off of that body for a year or two or three or four more. For something of an animal body in a four-square reality, that is powerful stuff. You don’t live if Mom doesn’t let you grow in her body, or take care of you afterwards. Plus, in duality thinking, if someone has the power of life, they then, of course, have the power of death. Stop to think what this does as a setup for men. Because, while women certainly get programmed with a ton of junk, on that particular issue, whether they have children or not, they know: “Oh, my body is one of those.” “Oh yeah, I’m one of those, like Mom.” So with women, for whatever your hassle is, whatever your fears are, whatever your dilemmas, whatever programming you have to work out, you at least have the “I am one of those” identification.
But for men, it remains always an otherness power. When you are strictly four-square reality thinking, that’s something else, and that’s why throughout human history, women were, in pre-recorded history, dominant, and had to give it up because the men’s terror was too great; and they became submissive, and owned by men. Then, it was the father owned the daughter, and handed her over to the husband, and there was the virginity thing so that nobody else got in there to tap that power.
Where did all that craziness come from in our cultures? We treat it like “well, that’s just life.” The fact that we come in two kinds of bodies and only one kind grows new life has a profound hookup to consciousness evolving, and to the nature of the duality plane, and the nature of our trying to comprehend it.
Now there’s also a biological thing of women feeling very “at effect” of their bodies. Giving birth often meant death, it certainly meant hardship, and you were extremely vulnerable for a long period of time. That set up one of the big programmings and conditlonings that women have — they need to own men, to get them to take care of them. “You need to have a man. You need to get married. . . .” All those imageries come from the same biological thing from the time we were running away from saber-toothed tigers. The fact is that we no longer need to do that. That’s not here anymore. Now we’re here to connect. To use what we’ve each learned. To share feelings. To get to sense the other person, to break down that barrier of fear.
Once I was with a few women at a picnic dinner at somebody’s house; the guys were out playing volleyball, the ladies were inside talking. And they were all talking about the men. They were all being very lucid, very clear, very accurate, and very complete in their understanding of how those men were, what their relationships were, what the problems were. They were very clear. And I thought, “Wow, these ladies really have good relationships.”
Then the men came in. And the women who’d been speaking very clearly suddenly went (laughs embarrassedly). And everything went iiicchhhhkkk. It was like a wave that went across the room, and the men felt it, and then their reaction to that yuck was to get yucky the other way, and then there was this ooh, in the room, and I thought, “Oh my God, that’s what it is. Men are terrified of women. And women are terrified of letting men know they know they’re terrified.”
And that’s the why to all this crazy song and dance we do. And why women are terrified is because throughout history they’ve gotten murdered a lot whenever they’d say what they thought or used men’s fear. When you get that imprinted in your genetic memory, you get very evasive.
So it’s been the way we’ve done the dance, to figure out who we are. All of this hasn’t needed to be happening for a long time, and it’s the hangover of the unconsciousness of the energy, not really founded in the realities of survival except as we create self-fulfllling prophecy. What we’re about to do is really look at how we have these unfinished experiences . . . it’s the real meaning behind ancestor worship. You must respect your heritage. Not in an exclusive sense of being better than anybody else, but in knowing that all your ancestors have been working on different pieces, and you’ve got assorted little vulgarities left over programmed into you that you have to become aware of and straighten out. And bring your consciousness into freedom, bring it into light. Bring it out of the shadow.
When you say “I’m right and I have to make all those people agree with me,” you act out of powerlessness. You are not trusting the universe, you are not trusting the God within others or you, you are not saying, “I’ll let you figure it out when you get it,” which would be real. We want them to say they agree even if it’s not real for them.
Now the greatest power there is, is love. Somebody can come up to you, opinionated, defending a position, and if you don’t match energies with him, your resistance smack up against theirs, but instead, if you find the piece of truth in what they are saying (there is always a piece) — if you would let that come into you and feel that with compassion and return that to them verbally or psychically, then they are not so desperate for they will then feel you recognize the part which concerns them and then they will be more able to hear you. They can’t keep doing that. You can only be desperate when desperateness is being matched. When there is room, when there is space, it all goes plop. They hear themselves. They can’t have a real enemy out there, because you are not playing.
Question: What’s the history behind the sounds you make, how did it start?
I didn’t sing. I wasn’t interested in sound at all. There was a psychic friend of mine, a very good clairvoyant in California, and she makes something like Indian-chanting sounds. She told me when I first met her, “You’re going to make sounds that are going to heal people.” And I thought, “Not me, I’m not making funny sounds.” So I had no interest in it, at all.
Then one day a few years ago, when I was working on myself, I had a tremendous amount of grief in my pelvis, and I could feel it. Everything had sort of ripened, and gotten to the place where I was crying; the grief was really pouring out, and I thought, “Oh God, I think I want to scream.” Then I thought, “Well, why not? Gone this far.”
When those emotions line up and are going to come out of your body, there’s a part of you that goes, “Oh my God, control yourself, what are you doing?” and there’s another part that says, “Oh heavens, I can’t wait to get this out,” and then there’s another part that says, “Isn’t that nice?” I ended up in with the part that says “Isn’t this nice?” and decided to scream, and as I took in a deep breath, to let out the scream, I felt like a soft bolt of lightning go up the soles of my feet, and it went up through my body, and it hit my throat, came out my mouth, out my eyes, and out the top of my head, and when it came out my mouth, the breath I had taken in came out making one of the sounds. It was like I got caught in it, and I made the sound for a long time.
There was a woman there who had a slipped disc in her back, and the sound had gone up her back and hit the disc, and popped through, and her back was well. So I said, “Well, they seem to do good things, I guess I’ll keep them.”
For about a year, I did them strictly in that sense, as healing, as something which moved energy in people’s bodies, helped things that were stuck, move. Not just physical things but emotional things. It’s almost like it put everything on another vibration level, letting the whole body, all the cells, everything, tune up. That was my perception of it.
A year later, I was doing a workshop in California, with about eighty-five people, and afterwards and during it, people would ask me what the sounds were, and I’d just say, I think they’re very primordial. They somehow remind us of something very ancient, in ourselves, and I always see it as a light connection, to ancientness.
After that workshop, there was another one going on at the same center, and it was a recording of workshops done with Jane Roberts. She’s a trance medium and goes into a being called Seth. I haven’t read those books except a chapters here and there but I had a sense that it was good stuff; it wasn’t literally true, but it was something that caused people to shift. So I was interested in hearing her become someone else, I was curious about that.
On this particular class tape, she went into a being called Seth Two, a being that they call that for want of a better name, a being that has never been physical, never had a body. Her voice changed drastically, she spoke very monosyllabically; one syllable at a time was a word.
The first two words were “perceive us” and it was (in flat nasal tone) ppeerr-ceeiiivvveee-uuusss, very strange sounding. What it said was, “Forgive the difficulty in communication. For untranslatable knowledge is difficult. We are not physical, yet have we seeded your God. Experiments begun in the past shall be reinitiated. Perceive us as you can.” And “perceive us as you can” came out, pppeeerrrCCCEEEIIIVVVEEEuuusss, and it started to get that sound in it.
I went into a trance when I heard it; everything turned like a negative, like a black and white photograph. I was just stunned, and a lady next to me said “Oh! It’s like your sounds!” and she hit me on the arm, which felt like a great shock, and I just got up and walked out and sat in my car for three hours.
For about three days, I was just really stunned. It was as if my personality had no way to digest that experience. Here I was making these nice sounds that made people feel better, and I knew they were good, and they made me feel terrific, but I really didn’t like them being any of “those other things,” and I don’t know what those other things are. I’m really telling you as closely and accurately as I can what the experience was, and obviously, somehow it is related.
What we need to do is take experiences as they come, take them open heartedly, and as clearly as we can, share them with each other as it feels good to do so, and as accurately as possible. Not embellishing or reducing, so as to make it more acceptable to some tape. And in that way, we will find the common thread of the next place we’re going, and we’ll begin to get the truth. Let your conclusions keep moving.
Another thing I can tell you about the sounds is that a psychologist who had done some work on these Peruvian whistling jars came to one of my workshops. I’d never heard them, but you blow several pipes or pots at once, and the combination of sounds makes a sound like the sounds I make. A number of sounds are simultaneously in the sound I make.
They found that those pots caused the right and left hemispheres to synchronize and when he was in my workshop he was pleased and so was I because so much of what I was talking about was left brain and right brain being able to work together, and what he perceived was the sounds, helping that happen.
We are all programmed, incredibly, with all kinds of craziness. In other words, we are all nutty as fruitcakes, and until we can know that there isn’t anybody in a body who isn’t programmed with some craziness, we can’t really relax and work on it, because we’re all going to try to look cool. And we’re all going to try to look intelligent. And we’re all going to try to look like we’ve got it figured out. And all that’s going to do is block your process of actually doing that.
If you can’t let somebody be in their crazy place, because you can’t let you be in your crazy place, then you will have to cut it off and come to a conclusion before feeling out completely what is going on. I think it was Longfellow who said (I am paraphrasing), if we could but know the hearts of our enemies and the quiet desperation that lies in there, we would be relieved of all hatred and anger, that if you could really sense what’s making someone run the way they are running, if you had dealt with your own despair enough, if you had enough experience facing it, and enough feeling compassion and enough feeling okay about you, you would let yourself feel the other people and feel where their despair was, then you wouldn’t need to hate them. You would then know how to send love and when not to say anything but just step back and not judge. If you observe the truth, you observe the truth. If they don’t know it now they will know it later.
Question: Could you comment on physical illness and its relationship to getting conscious?
We keep energy from our conditioning and programming, locked in the body in sort of a deep-freeze state, so you can be quite unconscious, and run around with all this unconscious stuff and be pretty healthy and be okay. The minute you start going for getting conscious, you start defrosting these packets of unconsciousness, and as soon as you start doing that, you get symptoms, you get feelings, things start to happen.
We’ve got it backwards. We’ve laid blame if you feel bad, or you feel sick, like you’re doing something wrong. You’re merely bringing into consciousness something that everybody else, and you, have taken on. That puts you in a different relationship to the illness. A lot of illness is staying stuck because people feel guilty they have it. And they can’t get through that one enough to process it out. Because they keep introducing to themselves, “You’re a bad person.” And that’s the part you have to forgive. That’s the whole point.
The location is very important. A lot of women have bladder infections, cystitis and so on, and often it is connected to sex, as it is mechanically related in that the urethra is short and bacteria can get up when you have sexual intercourse, but that isn’t the whole thing. It is the trauma of the intimacy of sex, when you begin to open up. And when it then shifts to female organs that compounds it. The trauma is one of female role, in the sense that it’s in the chakra of clear sentience, clear feeling, knowing, gut-level knowing, all kinds of knowledge we have about touch, sensation, and feeling.
Whenever there’s a dis-ease in that area, that means you are working through the frozen energy there, it’s starting to become conscious, and you are in a state of anxiety, so it’s difficult to handle.
The more you can be so sensitive to your body speaking to you, the less drastic does it have to be to get your attention. I don’t get sick anymore, and that doesn’t mean I couldn’t. But I don’t, because I feel it all coming, before I’m sick. I feel the energy moving. I feel I’ve taken on a trauma, when I’ve gone unconscious on something. Or when I am not prepared, something’s come up and I didn’t see it. And I sort of didn’t want to see it because it was painful. So the more conscious you let your body be, the better care you take of it, the more insight you can get. Look at it as a metaphor; look at the organ, the function of the organ, the site, and when the disease occurs. The holds system poisons; it holds them before releasing them from the body. What a metaphor for psychological process! And then, if it goes to the ovaries, it has very much to do with the egg, the beginning, and it also has very much to do with feelings about being a woman. If it’s on the right side, it has to do with asserting, and being yang, and fear of yang energy, or difficulty with over-asserting in a strident way, because of fearing loss of power. If it’s on the yin side, the left side, it has to do with being penetrated.
It’s funny how we worry about the West Coast falling into the sea. I think it already has. We have to realize that all intuitive speaking and visions come in a metaphor. There’s no more perfect metaphor than the eruption of the earth’s energy and that that area of the world has fallen into the collective unconscious, which is what the sea is always a symbol of, the mystical, the depths, the collective. And that’s why California is crazy; it is mystical, and it is a growing edge. People all over the world are looking at their own shadows. California is deep in this process. This is reflected in the growth of the consciousness and the environmental movements, as well as drug and cult movements, as people risk, make mistakes, and learn. We are learning. Economics is part of what we must learn, too.
The first depression occurred right after we hit the end of the frontier. There was no more land to take, so unlimited growth based on the capitalistic process just couldn’t happen anymore; it had to start reverberating back. All our economic problems are very much related to our lack of consciousness. The minute we get conscious, the economic problems will stop. It’s inevitable we’ll have all of it: recession, depression, everything, as long as we keep doing work and living unconsciously, living out of the flow, that isn’t trusting. We’re to have to find out in some measure, the hard way, because the hard way is how you find out for sure. I’m not so worried about it. And the same is true in California. If it falls into the sea, then it falls into the sea. (Patricia’s home is on the fault in northern California.) I just don’t think that’s going to happen.
Continue to grow and work on one’s self, rather than trying to make the external organizations take care of it all, which is what we have done through all human history, and all it has ever done is caused war, because we argue about who knows the right way to do it, and it doesn’t work because it has to be an internally directed truth as well. You can’t make people obey laws. But when the truth comes down to it, we are all good, we are all part of God and we are all coming home. And to the degree we deny that truth, we make it more difficult for that to happen. I know that sounds very idealistic; I’m sure it is. I also think it will happen and whether it takes twenty years or twenty thousand is up to us. I think it is inevitable that we shall evolve and remember who we are.
There is an intense sexuality that goes along with being alive. And the more alive you are, the more into your vital processes, the more creative you are. If you’re of the artistic bent, you try more or less to get lost in the collective unconscious and bring up archetypal images and to allow yourself to receive that which comes from the acausal mind, which is really what creativeness is. The operative words here are allow and receive.
The same kind of process has to go into effect for good sex. You step aside of the persona, the chattering personality, the checking it out personality, and let the higher self personality feel, surrendering to the yin flow of the experience, being penetrated, penetrating, simultaneously, emotionally, physically. You let that happen; with everything really wondrous, you have to let it happen. You don’t make creativity. You don’t make healing, you don’t make great sex. You let it. And this is the great hassle that Western minds really have with everything divine and wondrous. We’re always trying to figure out how to teach creativity, how to make people creative. It doesn’t work; it turns into “arts and crafts” which is okay, but that’s technological and doesn’t tap the place where it’s the growing edge, the creative place, a catching thing that calls to that other place; that’s what great art is.
Question: Could you comment on the Buddha saying that all life is suffering?
I think that the Buddha’s statement suffered in translation. In being alive one experiences suffering. In being in this first stage of evolving consciousness one experiences suffering. That is there. The minute you own it as a part of the unfolding process of life, in a funny way it is no longer suffering. The thing that you called suffering is there, but it is not suffering. It’s got a giggle in it. It’s got the cosmic joke leaking in on it. I think that’s what Buddha said. This process is intrinsic in life; if you seek to escape suffering you lose the process.
You can grow wonderfully in the beautiful spots. They are magnificent, healing, expanding, terrific, and inevitable. And, if you try to hold on to one, you get hit in the head. The universe rules: yesterday’s ecstasy is today’s garbage.
You have to keep being on the growing edge and keep going for being alive. Lace it with a little kindness, do the best you can, keep your eyes open and remember. And keep breathing. That’s all you have to do.
When you are down, let a little part of you giggle. A part of you will resent it: “I don’t want to giggle now. I want to be mad.” That’s okay too, they will both be there.
People used to get really frightened when I healed them; they were really grateful that they didn’t have pain anymore but look at me really funny, and I could see all the witch pictures, all this scarey imagery come up in them; it feels like demon power to them because they don’t feel any connection with it. So I used to tell people, “You did it too.” Only I didn’t mean it because I knew I did it. I knew how I concentrated, I knew how I found the place, I knew how I shot the juice, I knew what I was doing, and I knew I did it. And even when I didn’t know what I was doing, I knew I was letting that happen. So I would say, “You did it too,” because it was the only thing that came to me to say.
Then one time, I was meditating, and it came to me that the reason I always had miraculous healings is because I create people coming to me who are willing to have miracles. And I totally realized how they it. I did it completely; they did it completely. It’s the paradox again. No loss. No one powerless. The paradox.
So after I realized that, I said, “Well what am I supposed to do then?” Then, I felt the question, “Would you be willing not to have miracles happen, when you do healing, because the important thing is the energy, not the healing. It’s important that you do generate this energy with people, but not necessarily that they be healed.” And I thought, “Well no, then they’ll think I can’t do it!”
It took me about three months to realize, “Of course I would do that,” and it didn’t matter. So I meditated and said, “Okay, now what am I supposed to do? I agree I’ll generate the energy. What am I supposed to do now?”
I went into deep meditation, and the words came up very clearly, “end wars”. It was hard enough being a closet psychic, so what is this “end wars”? And I thought, “Just a minute. Find out what that means.” And what I saw then was a beautiful vision of the planet. It was blue and white and green, as though seen from outer space, and these gold white lights were coming down, all the way around, and as they came down, I realized that they were beings, coming to this planet. The words came out “The Age of Avatars”. And that’s like Christ or Buddha. And I thought, “Yes, that’s true, this is the Age of Avatars.”
As I was looking at these lights, I saw a face in one, a countenance that was not male or female, but very beautiful, with golden white light around it. As I looked at that face, I realized that person had learned how to love themselves completely, while in a body. And they turned and looked at someone who was standing next to them who was not lit, and looked at them with such complete acceptance and love that they became light. And then that person looked to someone next to them who wasn’t lit, and looked at them with such love and acceptance, that they became light. And then this critical mass of energy was reached, and the whole world was lit, and then the words came: “Twenty years.” And that was about six years ago.
Remembering and Forgetting
We all know and we all forget, and we’re in the moment of quickening right now. We’re going to forget completely, remember completely, forget completely and remember completely. And it’s going to go on all the time, and it’s going to get bigger and bigger, you’re going to forget deeper and remember clearer. You will know and you won’t know simultaneously.
As you paradoxically let yourself be empty and say “I don’t know,” you make a wonderful space to be filled, and as you are filled you expand and you are greater. And in that greaterness you say. “Oh, there is more I don’t know.” This then creates more room to grow. In contrast, the duality thinking would say, “There is this much to know — everybody run and bottle it up. And you’re okay unless you’ve got it all.” You’re condemned to hell when you buy that, because you can’t win that way. You win by simultaneously knowing you are a pipsqueak in the universe, you don’t know anything. We haven’t even begun to see what is in the universe. And the minute you realize the paradox inherent in our perception of the universe, you will have broadened your ability to perceive the universe.
© Copyright Patricia Sun