Get a horse with a little sass. One who will try to buck you if she knows you’ve been drinking too much. Get a horse with a pretty mane. They say looks aren’t everything, but they’re wrong. Get a horse who will tell it to you straight — who will look you square in the eye and say, Girl, what the fuck were you thinking last night? Who was that guy? Your horse must be willing to trample anyone who was mean to you in your childhood. It is not important whether or not your horse can sing, or if she has a felony record. In fact, a record in certain cases could be helpful. Her flanks should feel smooth against your ankles. Her legs should be fast, faster than all your sadness. She should always be ready to run.