This is from David Manning’s new novel, “which I finally finished yesterday, after six years and one burning. Since you’ve already published two chapters from it (Theophilus and The Fool, Issues 44 [“Tales from Analogue Number One”] and 51 [“There but for the God of Grace Go I”]) I thought I’d try another.” This story has also been published in the Guide published by WDBS in Durham, N.C.
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, welcome to WYOY’s Mental-Basketball Game of the Week. Today’s contest pits mind against matter for the championship of Western Civilization. The winner here will meet the Eastern Civilization Champion to ultimately determine who will oppose the forces of nature in the Fourth Dimension. I’m Pebble-Mouth Grimsley here to call the blow by blow along with Flash “Whatever-Happened-To-Him” Gordon, our colorful commentator. Flash, how does it look?
Well, Pebbles, it certainly seems like it will be an exciting climax to a long and struggling civilization. These two teams have been going at it for centuries and the results have never really been decisive, but both teams are ready to go all out in today’s match. The Mind team will be using its old steady starting five senses but the ever-changing Matter club has a whole new look which should present Mind with its greatest challenge to date. This is only a minor league contest but the Cosmic scouts are here keeping a close eye on these two clubs in case they become significant in the future.
Do you really think it matters, Flash?
I don’t of course, Pebbles, but the teams probably do. I’d say that to one it thinks to matter and to the other it matters to think.
Well said, Flash. Maybe you can think up something equally brilliant to say about how the starting fives match up.
I’ll (hah, hah) try Pebbles, but it’s like Aristotle used to say back when he was covering these games: the brilliance is not a matter of how it matches up but how you strike the match. With so many elements to choose from, it’s always hard to call Matter’s lineup. I think they’ll probably go with a strong offensive odor at the guard position to take on Mind’s sleepy, but surprisingly effective, smell sense. Sight will, as always, center the Mind team and I look to Matter to try something opaque there. At the other guard, it will be taste versus mango tango, although mango tango is effective against all the senses. At the forwards, it’ll be touch going up against one of the gases, probably helium, although carbon monoxide has had some good workouts lately, and at the other forward the sense of hearing will battle it out with granite’s sound of silence or one of the percussives, it all depends on whether Matter uses its gross or subtle strategy.
Who do you think will win it, Flash?
As you know, Pebbles, I’m not allowed to bet, so I won’t say who I’ve got my money on. But the real key to the game has nothing to do with the starting fives. As you know, Matter keeps changing its lineup and Mind’s ability to adjust its offense, keep the flow going and not get too defensive, is usually the determining factor. But Mind’s best hope today involves a new player that’ll be coming off the bench. This is a sixth sense that Mind has been trying to bring along for years and today may be the day. This sixth sense is difficult to coach but has tremendous potential. If it can come off the bench and play well, then Mind will probably take it all. But no one knows if the sixth sense can play for Western Civilization. It’s had a rocky relationship with management and many of the team’s most influential fans insist it doesn’t even exist. Then too, no one knows how well the sixth sense matches up against Matter or if it can even stick to the rules of the game.
If this sixth sense does play, Flash, what position will it take?
Probably guard at first, Pebbles, but they say it would make a hell of a center if they could get vision to sit down and rest awhile.
Thank you, Flash. It’s about time for the tip-off so we’ll turn the game back to our listeners. This has been Pebble-Mouth Grimsley and Flash Gordon for Radio Y-O-Y, without whom you might never have known the game was being played.
