Men were only made into “men” with great difficulty . . . : the male is not naturally “a man” any more than the woman. He has to be propped up into that position with some ingenuity, and is always likely to collapse.
make me into a man of initiation / make me into a man of meditation / but also make me into a man of germination / make me into the executor of these lofty works / the time has come to gird one’s loins like a brave man.
You had to work at being manly; it took more effort . . . than rigging sails.
I have always disliked being a man. The whole idea of manhood in America is pitiful, in my opinion. This version of masculinity is a little like having to wear an ill-fitting coat for one’s entire life.
Let me tell you something. A man ain’t a goddamn ax. Chopping, hacking, busting every goddamn minute of the day. Things get to him. Things he can’t chop down because they’re inside.
[In the greenroom after a comedy show] one guy said to the comedian, “Hey, I didn’t know you used to be married.” The comedian said, “Yeah.” Another guy said, “Huh.” The comedian said, “Yeah.” There was a moment of silence, and then the comedian breathed deep and said, “Thanks for letting me talk about it, guys.”
I hungered for the power of the all-American man, the Marlboro Man and the Marlboro Man’s firstborn son, the high school quarterback, the company’s future CEO, Ernest Hemingway, John Wayne, Odysseus, Hercules, Achilles, the shield itself, the stone-cut archetype, the goddamned Everyman, the golden boy, the one.
How we talk about masculinity might be just as important, if not more so, than what we say. The very idea that there is a strict set of rules needs to be chucked away. The future of masculinity is a plethora of masculinities.
If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of love.
Man, if he so wills, can do much for man, but only in the natural and human orders. We can be men only if we help each other.
To be a man is, precisely, to be responsible. It is to feel shame at the sight of what seems to be unmerited misery. It is to take pride in a victory won by one’s comrades. It is to feel, when setting one’s stone, that one is contributing to the building of the world.
High John de Conquer came to be a man, and a mighty man at that. But he was not a natural man in the beginning. First off, he was a whisper, a will to hope, a wish to find something worthy of laughter and song.
How beautiful maleness is, if it finds its right expression.
A youth set forth in quest of a man of whom he might take counsel as to his future, but after long search and many disappointments, he came near relinquishing the pursuit as hopeless, when suddenly it occurred to him that one must first be a man to find a man, and profiting by this suggestion he set himself to the work of becoming himself the man he had been seeking so long and fruitlessly.
Man is a mystery. One must solve it. If you spend your entire life trying to puzzle it out, then do not say that you have wasted your time. I occupy myself with this mystery because I want to be a man.
You learn nothing about men by snubbing them and crushing their pride. You must ask them what it is they can do in this world, that they alone can do.
