Too Busy
Have ambition and ego ruined my life? Where have my easy days gone? If only I had a monk friend to wander off into the mountains to visit. If only I were so idle I had time to visit him. If only we could while away the day drinking tea, playing flutes, and talking. If only, as the moon rose, my friend could point the way home through the dark mountains with the night sky’s lantern to light the way. If only I were happy with only that.
Now Look At Me
As Ryokan once said: I was away in the calm of a mountain retreat just yesterday. Now look at me! I’ve spent all night listening to wild, ecstatic jazz, this sacred Black music. It’s four in the morning, and here I am at the Odessa on Avenue A and 8th Street, eating potato pancakes and applesauce and talking and laughing with friends. Walking down the street now with morning dawning over Brooklyn, I sing praises to the gods for this, my fortunate life.
Look At Her Now
That gorgeous young woman I saw on the subway last night, the one with the round, erect breasts and sweet, delicate arms and high, fine ass and oh! those hips, those sleek legs and thin ankles, those eyes, those lips, that smile, the way her hair fell away from her graceful neck so gracefully . . . Han Shan says in thirty years that beautiful young woman will look like chewed sugar cane. He says in thirty years she’ll look like me. Yes, Han Shan, yes. But who cares? It’s now. Now. Just look at her now!
Of Two Minds
As Ryokan said, Truly I love this life of seclusion. Then why do I pine away for a visit from friends? And why, when they do come, why is it that all I can think about is how to get away, back into the woods, back to my life of seclusion?
Perched In These Green Mountains
Han Shan says, Perched in these green mountains, letting my hair grow white, pleased with the years gone by, happy with today. Imagine such contentment and happiness. Yet I know that on Cold Mountain tomorrow always brought something else as well, for Han Shan also said, If you hide yourself away in the thickest woods, how will your wisdom’s light shine through? A bag of bones is not a sturdy vessel. Back and forth, back and forth. That’s the way it goes. Happy and content one day, ambition and desire eat you alive the next. It’s always been this way. Back and forth, back and forth. That’s the way it goes.
Walking Meditation
Chia Tao says walking meditation drives out thoughts of fame and fortune. Chia Tao says walking meditation stills the ego-mad mind. I walk and walk, but it doesn’t do any good. My ego-mad mind dreams on and on. To wit: this poem, which came to me while walking.
Words To Myself
Ryokan says: With what can I compare this life? Weeds floating on water. And there you are with your dreams of immortality from poetry, pretty pompous — don’t you think — for a weed floating on water?
Weather Report
The weather is horrible here on Judevine Mountain. It’s dark and cold all winter. Every day, rain and snow beat on your head, and the sun never shines. Then it’s spring and more rain, and ice and mud too. And after that, the black flies eat you alive, and then the deerflies, and then the mosquitoes, and then it’s fall before you even noticed it was summer. Then there might be a couple of weeks of decent weather and then it starts to rain and snow again. It’s just awful living here. I don’t think you’d like it here at all. You’d better find your own miserable place to live.