Birth and death is a continual cycle. Like corn, you have a season. You grow, flower, give seed, fade away. But the energy within you keeps going — like the energy of corn. Have you ever been in a corn field and felt that energy?

No? You say no?

The thing about birth and death is not to have too much of one and not the other. You have to keep birth and death about even in your many lives.

In my first incarnation (at least the first one I can remember) I (or the energy within me) was an Egyptian. I recall this quite clearly.

I was the son of the Pharaoh at that time in Egypt, Pharaoh Irving, and I was being forced to marry my sister, Ethel, who was a creep.

My father, the Pharaoh. I remember him crystal clear to this day, white silk robe swirling in the Egyptian wind, posing for a statue being carved by 2,000 slaves, screaming at me, “You’re going to marry your sister or we’ll kill you.”

So there I was in bed in my little room in our splendrous palace and a bunch of eunuchs come in carrying Ethel and dump her on the rug in front of my stereo set.

Between birth and death is life. But what is between death and birth? This is the BIG question.

I remember trying to be a famous man in the 16th century. I worked 40 hours a day, I sweated, I slaved, I became a very rich lawyer and cheated thousands of people, but what did it get me? Fame, yes, but nobody remembers the names of ANY 16th century lawyers these days.

In the 11th century, I met the prettiest woman of any of my lives: Baroness Betty Boomis. She was a very wealthy lady, she had many horses and carriages, and the hugest bust in the village in which we lived, Bayonne. This was a very great life because Baroness Betty Boomis was so dazzling, I didn’t think of anything else, her energy was so strong. Which was fine, because let me tell you, the 11th century was shit.

If you want to remember your former lives, it is quite simple. This is not something you can do while driving your car around or while not being totally, totally serious.

It is best to sit on a box, any kind of box, on the floor of your favorite room. Then recite these words: ktora gozina teraz?

This will usually bring it on. You have to have absolute quiet. Nobody can be running around the house or playing the saxophone or otherwise playing music loud. This would distract you.

When you can see your past lives, you can see your present in proper perspective. I know one man who can trace way back to when he was a cave person.

Of course, I know people who don’t remember past lives at all. If this is your case, there are two possibilities: (a) you didn’t have a past life, this is your first or (b) there are no past lives for anybody and this whole theory is wrong.

That would mean that this is it, buster.