Genuine personal transformation sometimes resembles social upheaval; the outcome is never certain. And like social progress, true spiritual advancement is neither linear nor simple. It’s murky, complex, and hard.
In what follows, Roberto Assagioli maps the geography of spiritual transformation — a region unacknowledged by therapies that adhere to a more orthodox conception of the self. Such therapies are content to hold warring forces at bay; they strive to accommodate clients to the world that confronts them; psychological disturbances are regarded as instances of maladjustment. Psychosynthesis, a therapeutic technique pioneered by Assagioli, recognizes that such disturbances may serve as precursors to a more ethically and spiritually refined outlook. Psychosynthesis seeks to bring together the distinct, clashing elements of the psyche in a way that leads to their eventual integration.
Assagioli’s essay is based on a chapter from his book, Psychosynthesis: A Manual of Principles and Techniques, and was originally published in Synthesis magazine. We discovered it in Spiritual Emergency: When Personal Transformation Becomes a Crisis, edited by Stanislav and Christina Grof. It is reprinted here with permission of the Berkshire Center for Psychosynthesis. As the essay first appeared some years back, it makes liberal use of masculine pronouns. Rather than rewrite much of the piece, and in the process involve ourselves in the thorny quest for gender-neutral terms, we have remained faithful to the original.
— T.L. Toma
I am using the term “spiritual” in its broad connotation, and always in reference to empirically observed human experience. In this sense, “spiritual” refers not only to experiences traditionally considered religious but to all states of awareness, all the human functions and activities that have as their common denominator the possession of higher values — values such as the ethical, the aesthetic, the heroic, the humanitarian, and the altruistic.
Spiritual development is a long and arduous journey, an adventure through strange lands full of surprises, joy and beauty, difficulties, and even dangers. It involves the awakening of potentialities hitherto dormant, the raising of consciousness to new realms, a drastic transmutation of the “normal” elements of the personality, and a functioning along a new inner dimension.
We should not be surprised to find that so fundamental a transformation is marked by several critical stages, which may be accompanied by various mental, emotional, and even physical disturbances. To the clinical observation of the therapist, these disturbances may appear to issue from more usual causes. But in reality they have quite another function, and need to be dealt with in a very different way.
The incidence of disturbances having a spiritual origin is rapidly increasing nowadays, in step with the growing number of people who, consciously or unconsciously, are groping toward a fuller life. In the past a moral conversion, a simple whole-hearted devotion to a teacher or savior, a loving surrender to God, were often sufficient to open the gates to a sense of inner union. Now, however, the more varied and complex aspects of the modern personality are involved and need to be transmuted and harmonized with each other.
It is useful to offer a general outline of the disturbances which can arise at the various stages of spiritual development and indicate how best to deal with them. We can recognize in this process four critical phases:
- Crises preceding the spiritual awakening.
- Crises caused by the spiritual awakening.
- Reactions to the spiritual awakening.
- The process of transmutation.
Crises Preceding The Spiritual Awakening
Regarding the psychological characteristics of the “normal” human being, one may say that he “lets himself live” rather than that he lives. He takes life as it comes and does not question its meaning, its worth, or its purpose; he devotes himself to the satisfaction of his personal desires; he seeks enjoyment of the senses, emotional pleasures, material security, or achievement of personal ambition. He may subordinate his personal satisfactions to the fulfillment of various family and social duties, but without seeking to understand the basis or source of those duties. Possibly he regards himself as “religious” and a believer in God, but usually his religion is outward and conventional; when he has conformed to the injunctions of his church and shared in its rites, he feels he has done all that is required of him. His operational belief is that the only reality is that of the physical world which he can see and touch and therefore he is strongly attached to earthly goods. For all practical purposes, he considers this life an end in itself. His belief in a future “heaven,” if he conceives of one, is altogether theoretical and academic — as is proved by the fact that he takes the greatest pains to postpone as long as possible his departure for its joys.
But it may happen that this “normal” human being becomes both surprised and disturbed by a change — sudden or slow — in his inner life. This may take place after a series of disappointments; not infrequently after some emotional shock, such as the loss of a loved relative or a dear friend. But sometimes it occurs without apparent cause, and in the full enjoyment of health and prosperity. The change begins often with a growing sense of dissatisfaction, of lack, of “something missing.” This “something missing” is nothing material and definite, but vague and elusive.
To this is added, by degrees, a sense of the unreality and emptiness of ordinary life. Personal affairs, which formerly absorbed so much of his attention, seem to retreat into the background; they lose their importance. New problems arise. The individual begins to inquire into the origin and the purpose of life; to ask what is the reason for so many things he formerly took for granted; to question, for instance, the meaning of his own sufferings and those of others, and what justification there may be for so many inequalities in our destinies.
When one has reached this point, he is apt to misunderstand and misinterpret his condition. Many who do not comprehend the significance of these new states of mind look upon them as abnormal fancies and vagaries. Alarmed at the possibility of mental unbalance, they strive to reattach themselves to the “reality” of ordinary life that seems to be slipping from them. Often they throw themselves with increased ardor into a whirl of external activities, seeking ever new occupations, new stimuli, and new sensations. They may succeed for a time in alleviating their disturbed condition, but they are unable to get rid of it permanently. It continues to ferment, undermining the foundations of their ordinary existence, whence it is liable to break forth again, perhaps after a long time, with renewed intensity. The state of uneasiness and agitation becomes more and more painful, and the sense of inward emptiness more intolerable. The individual feels distracted; most of what constituted his life now seems to have vanished like a dream, while no new light has yet appeared. Indeed, he is as yet ignorant of the existence of such a light, or else he cannot believe that it will ever illuminate him.
It frequently happens that this state of inner turmoil is accompanied by a moral crisis. A new sense of responsibility appears, and the individual can be oppressed by a heavy sense of guilt. He judges himself with severity and becomes a prey to profound discouragement, even to the point of contemplating suicide.
Individuals differ widely in their inner experiences and reactions. There are many who never reach this acute stage, while others arrive at it in one bound. Some are more harassed by intellectual doubts and metaphysical problems; in others, the emotional depression or the moral crisis is the most pronounced feature.
These various manifestations of the crisis bear a close resemblance to some symptoms characteristic of neurotic and borderline psychotic states. The stress of the crisis may also produce physical symptoms, such as nervous tension, insomnia, and other psychosomatic disturbances.
To deal correctly with the situation, it is essential to determine the source of the difficulties. This is generally not hard to do. The symptoms taken in isolation may appear identical to those found in pathological states; but a careful examination of their causes, a consideration of the individual’s personality in its entirety, and — most important of all — the recognition of his actual, existential situation reveal the true nature of the underlying conflicts. In ordinary cases, these conflicts occur among the “normal” drives, between these drives and the conscious “I,” or between the individual and the outer world. In the cases that we are considering here, however, the conflicts are between some aspect of the personality and the progressive, emerging tendencies and aspirations of a moral, religious, humanitarian, or spiritual character. It is not difficult to distinguish these tendencies from mere fantasies or sublimations. In a general way, the emergence of spiritual tendencies results from the growth of the individual.
There is this possible complication: these emerging tendencies may revive or exacerbate old or latent conflicts between personality elements. Such conflicts, which by themselves would be regressive, are in fact progressive when they occur within this larger perspective. They are progressive because they facilitate the achievement of a new personal integration, a more inclusive one, at a higher level — one for which the crisis itself paved the way. So these crises are positive, natural, and often necessary preparations for the progress of the individual. They delineate elements of the personality that need to be looked at and changed in the interest of further growth.
However one may conceive the relationship between the individual self, or “I,” and the Universal Self, it is crucial to distinguish between the Self in its essential nature — what has been called our “center,” or “deeper being” — and the little self, or “I,” usually identified with the ordinary personality, of which we are normally conscious.
Crises Caused By The Spiritual Awakening
The opening of the channel between the conscious and the superconscious levels, between the “I” and the Self, often produces a wonderful release. The preceding conflicts and sufferings, along with the psychological and physical symptoms they generate, vanish sometimes with amazing suddenness, confirming the fact that they were not due to any physical cause but were the direct outcome of inner strife. In such cases the spiritual awakening amounts to a real resolution.
But in other cases, the personality is unable to rightly assimilate these changes. An inability of the mind to stand the illumination, or a tendency to self-centeredness or conceit, may result in a confusion of levels. The distinction between absolute and relative truths, between the Self and the “I,” is blurred, with the unfortunate effect of feeding and inflating the personal ego.
The author encountered a striking instance of this effect in the Psychiatric Hospital at Ancona, Italy. One of the residents, a simple man, formerly a photographer, quietly and persistently declared that he was God. Around this central idea he had constructed an assortment of fantastic delusions about heavenly hosts at his command; at the same time he was as peaceful, kind, and obliging a person as one could imagine, always ready to be of service to the doctors and patients. He was so reliable and competent that he had been entrusted with the preparation of medicines and even the keys to the pharmacy. His only lapse in behavior in this capacity was an occasional appropriation of sugar for the other residents.
Many therapists would simply regard this patient as paranoid or delusional; but this diagnosis helps little in understanding the true nature of such disturbances. There is a more profound interpretation of this man’s illusory conviction.
However one may conceive the relationship between the individual self, or “I,” and the Universal Self, it is crucial to distinguish between the Self in its essential nature — what has been called our “center,” or “deeper being” — and the little self, or “I,” usually identified with the ordinary personality, of which we are normally conscious.
This distinction is key to understanding the mental state of the patient, and of other extreme forms of self-exaltation and self-glorification. The victim of these illusions attributes to his personal self, or “I,” the qualities and powers of the transpersonal or higher Self; he confuses the empirical with the transcendent levels of reality. Instances of such confusion are not uncommon. The reader will doubtless be able to record instances of similar self-deception found among fanatical followers of various cults.
In some individuals there is an awakening of parapsychological perceptions. They have visions of what they believe to be exalted beings; they may hear voices, or begin to write automatically, accepting the messages at their face value and obeying them unreservedly. The quality of such messages is extremely varied. Some of them contain fine teachings, others are quite poor or meaningless. One should always examine them with much discrimination and sound judgment, and without being influenced by their uncommon origin or by any claim of their alleged transmitter. No validity should be attributed to messages containing definite orders and commanding blind obedience, and to those tending to exalt the personality of the recipient.
Reactions To The Spiritual Awakening
As has been said, a harmonious inner awakening is characterized by a sense of mental illumination that brings insight into the meaning and purpose of life; it dispels doubts, offers the solution to many problems, and gives an inner source of security.
Such a state of joy may last for varying periods, but it is bound to cease; the flood is followed by the ebb. The personality was infused and transformed, but this transformation is seldom either permanent or complete. More often, elements of the personality revert to their earlier state. We can consider three different possible outcomes which typify the results of this process:
- The energy of the Self is strong enough to achieve this higher personality integration and, also, to transform the patterns inherent in the personality that encourage it to revert to the previous state. The new integration is then permanent. This outcome is rare and is exemplified by those instances in which an individual’s life is suddenly and permanently transformed as a direct and immediate result of a spiritual awakening.
- The energy transmitted by the Self is less intense and/or the personality is less responsive, so that although a higher level of organization is reached, only some of the regressive tendencies and patterns in the personality are fully transformed, while most of them are only neutralized temporarily. As a consequence, the higher integration achieved by the personality is sustained only as long as the energy of the Self is being actively transmitted. Once this energy is withdrawn, the personality reverts toward its previous state. But what remains — and this is often the most useful part of the experience — is an ideal model and a sense of direction which one can use to complete the transformation through his own purposeful methods.
- The energy transmitted by the Self is not sufficient to bring about the higher level of organization. The energy is then absorbed by those obstacles and patterns that prevent the higher integration. It has the effect of energizing them and thus bringing them to light, where they can be recognized and dealt with. In such cases, the experience is usually of a painful quality and its transpersonal origin often goes unrecognized. But in reality it is just as valuable, because it can show the individual the direction in which he ought to proceed.
Clearly, a person’s experience does not fall neatly into one of these three clear-cut categories. Most spiritual experiences contain a combination of permanent changes, temporary changes, the recognition of obstacles that need to be overcome, and the lived realization of what it is like to exist at this higher level of integration. It is this last that serves as an ideal goal.
But the loss of this temporary integration is necessarily painful, and is apt to produce strong reactions and serious troubles. The personality reasserts itself with renewed force. All the rocks and rubbish, which had been covered and concealed at high tide, emerge again. Sometimes it happens that lower propensities and drives, hitherto dormant in the unconscious, are now vitalized, or bitterly rebel against the new aspirations that constitute a challenge to their uncontrolled expression. The person, whose moral conscience has now become more exacting, whose thirst for perfection has become more intense, judges with greater severity and condemns his personality with a new vehemence; he is apt to harbor the mistaken belief that he has fallen lower than he was before.
At times, the reaction is so intensified that the individual denies the value and even the reality of his recent experience. He is tempted to regard the whole thing as an illusion, a fantasy, or an emotional intoxication. Yet, try as he may, he cannot return to his old state; he has seen the vision, and its power remains with him in spite of his efforts to suppress it. He cannot accept everyday life as before, or be satisfied with it. A “divine homesickness” haunts him and leaves him no peace. This state bears a close resemblance to psychotic depression — once called “melancholia” — characterized by an acute sense of unworthiness. There is also an acute and painful sense of intellectual incompetence — a paralysis of the will accompanied by the inability to act. But in the case of those who have had an inner awakening or a measure of spiritual realization, the disturbances should not be considered as a mere pathological condition; they have different, far deeper causes.
Plato, in the famous allegory contained in the Seventh Book of his Republic, compares unenlightened men to prisoners in a dark cave or den:
At first, when any of them is liberated and compelled suddenly to stand up and turn his neck around and walk toward the light, he will suffer sharp pains; the glare will distress him, and he will be unable to see the realities of which, in his farmer state, he had seen the shadows.
Saint John of the Cross uses words curiously similar in speaking of the experience which he called “the dark night of the soul”:
The self is in the dark because it is blinded by a light greater than it can bear. . . . As eyes weakened and clouded suffer pain when the clear light beats upon them, so the soul, by reason of its impurity, suffers exceedingly when the Divine Light really shines upon it. And when the rays of this pure Light shine upon the soul in order to expel impurities, the soul perceives itself to be so unclean and miserable that it seems as if God had set Himself against it and itself were set against God.
Saint John’s words about the “light” which “shines upon the soul in order to expel impurities” reflect the essential nature of the process. Even though from the limited view of the personality it may seem a setback, from the much broader perspective of the transpersonal Self, this phase is in fact one of the most useful and rewarding stages of growth. The light of the Self shines on the “impurities” and brings them to the consciousness of the individual to facilitate his process of working them out. Although this process can be, at times, a laborious one, it is a basic aspect of a reliable and permanent channel of contact between the individual and the transpersonal.
The proper way to deal with this type of crisis is to convey a true understanding of its nature. It is as though he had made a superb flight to the sunlit mountaintop, realized its glory and the beauty of the panorama spread below, but had been brought back, reluctantly, with the rueful recognition that the steep path to the heights must be climbed step by step. Ultimately, the crisis is overcome when one realizes that the true value of the experience is that it offers a “tangible vision” of a better state of being, and thus a road map, an ideal model toward which one can proceed.
Yet, try as he may, he cannot return to his old state; he has seen the vision, and its power remains with him in spite of his efforts to suppress it. He cannot accept everyday life as before, or be satisfied with it. A “divine homesickness” haunts him and leaves him no peace.
The Process Of Transmutation
This stage follows the recognition that the necessary conditions for the achievement of self-realization are a thorough regeneration and transmutation of the personality. It is a long and many-sided process which includes several phases: the active removal of the obstacles to the operation of the Self; the development of the higher functions which have lain dormant or undeveloped; and periods in which one is receptive to the guidance of the Self.
It is a most eventful and rewarding period, full of changes, or alternations between light and darkness, between joy and suffering. It is a period of transition; one is like a caterpillar undergoing the process of transformation into the winged butterfly. But the individual generally does not have the protection of a cocoon in which to undergo the process of transformation in seclusion and peace. He must — particularly nowadays — remain where he is in life and continue to perform his family, professional, and social tasks as well as he can. His problem is similar to that which confronts engineers in reconstructing a railway station without interrupting the traffic.
Despite the challenges of the task, as he does his work he is conscious of gradual, increasing progress. His life becomes infused with a sense of meaning; ordinary tasks are elevated by his growing awareness of their place in a larger scheme of things. He begins to develop a more coherent conceptual framework which allows him to better understand what he observes and experiences.
As a general rule, some difficulties are almost always experienced. These often occur immediately after the flood tide of exaltation has passed, and the individual settles down to his dual task of self-transformation while meeting life’s many demands. Learning to use one’s energies in this fashion generally takes time, and it may be a while before the two tasks are implemented in a balanced manner, and ultimately recognized as one. As a consequence, it is not surprising to find stages in which the individual may become so engrossed in his task of self-transformation that his ability to cope successfully with the problems and activities of normal life are impaired.
This stage passes, with time, as the individual learns to master and unify his dual task. But when the complexities of the task are not recognized and accepted, the natural stresses of growth in the process can be exacerbated, last for long periods, or recur with an unnecessary frequency. This is especially so when the individual becomes too engrossed in the process of self-transformation, excluding the outer world with a single-minded and excessive introversion. Periods of healthy introversion are natural in human growth. But if they are carried to extremes or prolonged into a general attitude of removal from the life of the world, the individual may experience many difficulties, not only with impatient and critical friends, co-workers, and family members, but also within, as natural introversion becomes self-obsession.
These troubles can be greatly reduced or altogether eliminated by pursuing one’s growth with energy, dedication, and zeal, but without becoming identified with it. The individual can then accept the necessary stresses of the new and complex process; he can refuse to fall into a self-pity born of frustrated perfectionism; he can learn to view himself with humor and be willing to experiment and risk changes; and he can turn to competent people — whether professional therapists, counselors, or wise friends — for help and guidance.
The physical, emotional, and mental problems arising on the way to self-realization, however serious they may appear, are merely temporary reactions, byproducts of an organic process of inner growth and regeneration. They either disappear spontaneously when the crisis which has produced them is over, or they yield to proper treatment. The sufferings caused by periods of depression, by the ebbing of the inner life, are abundantly compensated by the release and enhancement of the whole personality.
