Learning to ride, falling down, getting back on
Subscribe and Save up to 45%
It’s hard to hit a man with something so small;
it doesn’t seem fair. I’m trying
to make a better bullet. First of all,
I’ve made them bigger, the size of fists,
which is also the size of the human heart.
The bullet should be as big as the target,
which is why I’m making even bigger bullets,
the size of coffins, and during their flight
the bullets spring open, so they can
swallow a man whole. Just in case I miss,
I’ve put attractions in the bullets to lure
the targets inside: widescreen televisions,
free T-shirts, four-star meals, football stadiums.
Don’t ask how, the process is complicated,
and patented. I’m going to be rich.
I’ve put windows in my bullets so I can
make sure I don’t hit the wrong people;
I hate to miss. I’m working on bullets
the size of neighborhoods
and cities, continents; I’ll have a bullet
as big as the world by the end of the year.
The gun, however, remains problematic.
I’m going to need help with the carrying
and the aiming, if you’re interested. We can
kill everybody, everywhere.